Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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