If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
did i just pee glitter
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
