I CAN MOONWALK!
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize
