I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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