READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
