I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
