question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize