Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
