You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Holy sore nipples Batman
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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