And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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