chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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