Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Why can't burritos get me drunk
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
