Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
