Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
