my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
