Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
