I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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