Your tits are I can't wait for
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
