i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize