He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize