Porn is love you can see.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
