Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Enjoy the penises
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
