question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
tell me about the eggs
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
