when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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