Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
