Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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