I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
The air taste purple.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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