dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
