He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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