Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
