i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
