you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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