You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
No subtext here. People are naked.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
