What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
