my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
All I want is dick and wine.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
