I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
