Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
