woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
