Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize