so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
