i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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