Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
