dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
