i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
