Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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