Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
