i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
