"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
