Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You can't just leave with hair like that
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
