The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
