The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
