Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
