guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
