Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
