We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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