Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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