Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
