if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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