Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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