New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
The air taste purple.
Randomize