im six kinds of drunk right now
Acid is not a monday night drug
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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