I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He felt like a one man threesome
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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