I hate your face
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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