I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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