when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
