I cannot find my penis.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
