He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
